Breathe Easy
by Scully2
Summary: I have no idea what to put here, Lol. It's from Jack's POV about his feelings for Sam and its a song fic..MY first. Woohoo.


**AN: This is my first song fic, so please be gentle with me lol, I'm not quite sure if it works, but would love to here what you think.**

**The song is Blue's – Breathe Easy. (Hence the title) ;o)**

**Spoilers: Solitudes, D&C, Chimera**

Breathe Easy 

**Cruel to the eyes**

**_I see the way he makes you smile_**

**_Cruel to the eyes_****  
_Watching him hold what used to be mine_**

I see them holding hands and it pains me. They don't see me as I'm watching from a distance. Had I known they would have been here, I would have chosen an alternate route. I know I have to accept this, because I want her to be happy…and it seems as if she is. She's laughing at some joke he's just made, and not for the first time. I feel envy at seeing them like this…seeing **her** like this; so happy and carefree. I know she's never been mine, but I wonder if the last seven years working with her side by side means anything to her. I close my eyes, turning my head away. The intensity of my emotions fills me with sadness at the thought that I may never get the chance to love her.

**Why did I lie?  
What did I walk away to find  
Ohh...why**

I remember the day we had to confess our feelings openly. It was the hardest thing I'd ever done. It wasn't that I didn't want her to know…it was just easier living the lie. When she told me that "nothing has to leave this room" for a brief moment I hoped that she would change her mind. That leaving it 'in the room' was a big mistake. And I wished I'd had the courage to tell her that I wanted…needed more.  
  
**_I..can´t breathe easy  
Can't sleep at night  
Till you're by my side_**__

My memory takes me back to the time when we were stuck in the Antarctic, and she lay by my side, keeping me warm…keeping me alive. I'll never forget that she nearly sacrificed her own life to ensure that we were rescued. I long for the day where I can hold her in my arms without fear of consequences…and wonder if that day will ever come.

**No I...can't breathe easy  
I can't dream yet another dream  
Without you lying next to me  
There's no air**

I'm tired of living my life without her. I try and sleep, but pictures of her flash through my mind and I wonder if it will always be like this? I'm haunted by images of the past when I've nearly lost her, and I wake up in a cold sweat struggling to breathe, before remembering that I'm dreaming. My biggest fear though is one day I'll wake up and find out that I have lost her and that it's no longer a dream…and she will never know the secrets of my heart.

**_Curse me inside  
For every word that caused you to cry  
Curse me inside_**

There have been times that I've hurt her, shut her out from what I've been feeling, because that way I can't be hurt. I've pushed her away so many times to spare her feelings… I don't know if I have the right to tell her how I feel now… not know she has him.  
  
**_I won't forget, no I won´t baby,  
I don't know why (don't know why)  
I left the one I was looking to find_  
  
_Oohh...why  
ooohhh, why...why_**

I ask myself, why do I do this? Why do I push away those I love? I have no answers. It's one of those cruel twists of fate that come out of nowhere. You have your chance at loving someone special, but if you don't seize the opportunity, that brief moment in time can be lost forever.  
  
**_Out of my mind  
Nothing makes sense anymore  
I want you back in my life  
That's all I'm breathing for_**

I see him hold her in his arms, and my chest tightens, knowing that could have been me…if only I had told her. I miss the times we laughed and joked while we walked side by side. That was a long time ago though…and times have changed. We've changed. Do you still see me in the way that you did? Do I still have the right now to tell you how much it hurts to see you with him? I go on existing… because of the hope that one day we can be together.

**_Ooohhh...tell me why  
  
Oh won´t you tell me why_**

Why do I still feel like this, when I see that you've moved on with your life?   
  
**_I can't dream yet another dream  
Without you lying next to me  
There's no air  
  
I can't breathe easy  
Can't sleep at night  
  
Till you're by my side_**

The reason I feel like this is because I know we're destined to be together. Maybe not in the here and now, but one day there will come a time when it's right. And I'll be waiting for you. Only then will I be able to tell you how I feel and how much I love you. For now though, I'll carry on telling myself that there will always be a tomorrow.


End file.
